Be Relentless (pt 1 of 2) By Darren Hardy

Have you ever worked with someone that just seemed unstoppable – that no matter what happened, they kept pushing forward towards their goal?

And you watched and you wondered how they did it – how they were so driven, so relentless in their determination.
In today’s post we’re gonna find out what it takes for each of us to be  relentless.

I interviewed Tim Grover for an issue of SUCCESS. Tim is the CEO and Owner of Attack Athletics. He has set the standard for elite training and excellence in sports performance worldwide. He has trained Hall of Famers and champions such as Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, Dwayne Wade and hundreds of others. He is also the best-selling author of the book, Relentless – From Good to Great to Unstoppable.

First off incase you are anything like me or have suffered some of the same self-criticisms I have, I’d like to reflect on a few things that struck me when I read Tim Grover’s book Relentless.

I have been perpetually dissatisfied—all my life.
Always pushing for more.
Nothing is ever enough or good enough.

Even when I claimed the prize and am literally walking off the field, court or stage… with the trophy in hand, I immediately ask, okay, what’s next?

You see I always thought that meant something was wrong with me.
That I was never in the present, that I never enjoyed the victory, that I was obsessed with what’s next versus what I already had… or even ungrateful. I was criticised for it by family and some friends.

Hearing so many condemn me for it I started to believe it.
Huh… maybe there IS something wrong with me.
Maybe I do have an inadequacy issue… that I do have to always prove something, fill a hole, overcome an sense of lack of self-worth.

I did a lot of introspection on those questions.
I could never make sense of my motivation emanating from those sources as others claimed. It never felt right, no matter the criticisms from others.

Reading Tim’s book was like when I first read Ayn Rand’s The Fountain Head, then subsequentlyAtlas Shrugged. The reason why those are my favorite books, literally #1 and #2, is because it was the first time I discovered and saw that OTHER people think, act and feel just like I do. That maybe… just maybe… I’m not weird after all.

That was the same experience I had when reading Tim’s book and getting into the mindset, philosophy, behavior, habits, passions and obsessions of the characters he has trained intimately, like Jordan, Bryant, Wade and others.

I realized, OMG, that’s how I feel.
That’s what I think.
Maybe I’M not crazy after all.
Maybe everyone else… well, just doesn’t understand.

And that’s okay, but at least I know there are others out there who act, feel and think as crazy as I do.

Here are the few things I related with the most… again, just incase you might be like this too, you can affirm… oh, wow, okay, maybe I’m not a nutjob afterall!

1. I’m always pushing for more, better, higher. 
No matter how much, high or good I have reached, BETTER is always the pursuit.

2. Once I reach the goal, I don’t linger there long to celebrate.

The celebration isn’t the fun; the pursuit, journey, stretching and challenge is.
The actual victory is only confirmation you made it.
It’s great and all, but then once you have “arrived” the fun is over.
In order to get the fun going again you immediately think, “Okay, what’s next!?”

3. Control your emotions.

I’ve always been criticized that I don’t get very excited about much and I don’t get very bummed about much either. I’m pretty even keel most of the time.

Now let me make a distinction, I AM passionate about what I do and the things I believe in. I’m guessing you have already gathered that, but that is different than, OMG I am soooo excited about my upcoming vacation, or meeting so and so, or the concert this weekend… and I don’t get depressed or down in the dumps about much either. I’m passionate, but pretty much emotionless in anticipation or reaction. And I don’t see failure as fatal.

Let me read you some of what Tim said in our interview:

“Emotions make you weak.  You have to control your emotions.  You can’t let your emotions control you.  The greatest athletes, the greatest people in business, everything they do is always under ONE emotion.  They don’t deal with emotionS, with an “s.”  They deal with one emotion. The one that serves the purpose of the competition—focus, concentration, settling in, or whatever, not anger, reaction, or response to pressure, taunting or failure. Failure to me, is an emotion. When you let that emotion interfere with your other emotion now you’re dealing with emotionS and that’s not good.  So if you decide to let that failure engulf you, it’s going to bring you down, all right.”

Then he went on to say,

“In a cleaner’s mind, there is no failure. He will take that failure and turn it around and figure out a way to harness it into something that he wants to achieve or something he wants to go in a different route.  He doesn’t sit there and let it eat him up inside.  Everyone gonna fail at something.  You’re probably gonna fail at more things than you’re going to succeed.  To the cleaner each failure is a learned lesson.  It depends on how you take that lesson and how you use it to get to where you wanna be.”

That’s good stuff and invaluable insight.
Keep that in mind—deal only in emotion—one at a time… and only the one that serves the objective of winning.
Block out every other emotion, it only makes you weak.