Become a Master Asker! by Brian Biro

Great coaches, teachers, and business leaders are master askers! This may seem to go against the grain of our typical view of leaders as those we turn to for all the answers. But here is a truly liberating truth: The quality of our teams will be determined by the quality of the questions we ask one another. Leaders and coaches who ask more than tell create leaders rather than followers.

When we ask questions, we spark thought and stimulate discovery. We help others think for themselves. Over time, those we coach develop far greater insight and understanding that allows their vision to expand. By asking more than telling, we also breathe faith into others’ hearts, which helps them take responsibility for their decisions and actions.

This doesn’t mean there aren’t times to give answers. It simply means that as a coach you want to help others become self-starters who think for themselves. A simple strategy for getting started on the path toward becoming a master asker is to discipline yourself to respond first with a question when people come to you for advice and answers. Instead of stepping forward right away to tackle their problems for them, first ask, “What do you think would be the best way to handle this?” Instantly you’ve let them know you truly value their ideas, and you’ve given them the chance to help themselves. Though initially they may feel somewhat uncomfortable or even disappointed that you didn’t give them an answer, over time, the growing sense of personal responsibility you will foster with this strategy will help them strengthen their spirits, solution-orientation, and confidence.

When you ask for a response from someone, it is critical that you really listen. The secret is to listen for their answers, not yours. How many times do we ask questions trying to squeeze out the answer we want? By opening yourself to really listen, you have a much greater chance to learn. When you ask others for their ideas, be eager to hear approaches and viewpoints that had never occurred to you before. And welcome those fresh perspectives with genuine enthusiasm, because they have the greatest potential to create positive change in your life.