Winning People Over: Persuasion & Influence (3 of 4) by Darren Hardy

Aristotle’s second level of persuasion is PATHOS—which means using emotion: passion, empathy and feelings to build emotional discontent and to motivate people toward change.

PATHOS is used to gain individual attention, to disgruntle large groups, create mass movement, advertise products, start revolutions and win elections.

Both sides of the emotional spectrum are used, and both are as equally persuasive.

Positive emotions like: pride, joy, fulfillment, meaningful contribution, recognition, love, compassion and honor.

Negative emotions like: prejudice, fear, uncertainly, doubt, greed, hate, desperation, shame and guilt.

I remember Brian Tracy asking an audience, “What percentage of human decision making is rational and what percentage is emotional?” Most answered “80/20” or “90/10”. Brian then pointed out that we are 100 percent emotional.

Human beings, including you, decide emotionally and then justify logically.
Whether people use negative emotions to persuade, or positive emotions to persuade, both are extremely powerful. Look at how people were persuaded by Hitler, Churchill, Jim Jones, Gandhi, Napoleon, Cesar Chavez, Mussolini, Martin Luther King Jr., Malcolm X, Mother Teresa, Stalin, and every other persuasive and influential leader. Whether leaders use positive emotions to empower you, or negative emotions to imprison you, they all use the power of PATHOS persuasion.
Which type of emotions should you use to build and empower? Certainly I have a strong preference. As you make your choice always remember this, if you build positive emotions, you will receive back and reap positive emotions. If you cultivate fear, you will live surrounded by fear.

If you build positive emotions, you will receive back and reap positive emotions.
If you cultivate fear, you will live surrounded by fear.

One key aspect of persuasion and influence I have learned is, “People support what they help create.” Before making decisions in closed door board meetings, allow your employees, team members, customers, partners and vendors the ability to co-create, offer thoughts, feedback suggestions and input before dictating your plans and projects. I guarantee your ability to persuade buy-in and support will go up many times over.

In executing this idea I might offer another suggestion and tool of persuasion that many people and companies mess up: present fewer options.

When presenting ideas, soliciting feedback or making offers, instead of making 10, 20 or more choices available, only offer three. Would you choose A, B or C?
The reality is if you give too many choices people get confused, frustrated and eventually give up. Too many choices overwhelm and scare people off—they can’t make up their minds. Offering fewer choices lessens the frustration of trying to figure out which option is best.
Studies show that companies offering fewer choices have better conversion rates than those with a large number of options. I won’t go to the Cheesecake factory restaurant for this very reason! By comparison, you go to a gourmet restaurant and they offer you very few, excellently selected options to choose from… ahhhhh….

I learned this principle when I sold real estate. When I was green in the business I would show a potential buyer 10 – 20 different houses—thinking more options to choose from, having more education and more reference points to compare against was better. Not so.
Then I learned this crucial principle of persuasion. I would first explain to the buyer that I have scoured the marketplace of every available option using their stated desires and criteria. Of all the options that fit their criteria, the houses I would show them are the very best three. Then I used another principle of persuasion that I will give you here as a bonus for free… see what a nice guy I am? (That’s the power of suggestion, by the way.)
The principle is what’s called the law of contrast. What I would do is show the least best option first—the one that was listed way over price and wasn’t very attractive. I wouldn’t let them write it
off it too fast, I’d want them to walk around it and let it settle in emotionally a bit: “This is what this price buys you?”
Then I would take them to THE best option – best price and most attractive. Now, all of a sudden, this house looks like a dream come true! If I had taken them there first, without a contrast reference point, it would have looked just average and human tendency is to look for everything not good about it.
Then finally, I would take them to the third option, which wasn’t as bad as the first, but certainly doesn’t live up to the second, which confirms and reinforces their decision on why No. 2 is perfect… and a GREAT deal.
Because they are not overwhelmed and have contrasting points of reference confirming and persuading both their LOGOS and PATHOS (logic and emotions), they were ready to make a decision to move forward.

Learning and employing the law of the few and the law of contrast improved my transaction rate by at least a factor of 10, which skyrocketed my income. I am suggesting that the use of these two tips in your own business, your own sales scenarios and in your own everyday conversations can have the same impact on your results.


So, as an action item, think about all the offers your company makes and the next time you need to influence someone’s decision apply the law of the few and the law of contrast. And by the way, people appreciate it when you make decisions easier for them by narrowing it down to only a few and providing high and low contrast points to compare against. Everyone wins!